"SUFFRAGETTE!" I looked around quickly. Nope. Nobody heard me. I wanted the throne but I was 'just a girl' and there were certain people in certain high places that thought that wasn't becoming a young lady.

The bishop was an ass.

Actua...   [Read more...]

"Knives."

"Yeah. And?"

"Pepper. Salt. Ducks. Ivory, but don't tell anybody."

"Seriously? Knives?"

He handed me the duffle bag. "Knives. And everything you need to know is in there, too."

&quo...   [Read more...]

I read a story today, a true one, about a young man who hung himself at the age of twenty-three.

His story was horrific. The abuse he received as a child ruined him both physically and mentally and, apparently, emotionally.

It is so sad t...   [Read more...]

Shit.

Bob hit the switch again.

I'm not too surprised because he's the biggest klutz I've ever had the misfortune to know. It had to happen the one day I forgot my tethers.

I took a quick look around. No nearby trees to grab. The neighbour'...   [Read more...]

Crap. This wasn't going to be good.

The old man said 'Let's go deer hunting. Just like old times. Reconnect after all those years of you pissing away your life on the other side of the world.'

That was last night. We drank to it. He had some incredibl...   [Read more...]

She'd always come running when I called.

But not today. The kids called me at work and said they couldn't find her, and that after she lapped a bit of water in the morning they hadn't seen her all day.

When I got home we all searched the area. I knew she c...   [Read more...]

The moon would never be the same again.

NASA, in a fit of proctological madness popped a cap in it's ass. It was no longer the benign pie in the sky of sappy Italian love songs.

The man, the one in the moon, was pissed.

The...   [Read more...]

Well, I wasn't prepared for this. Genetic engineering really is only my minor. I majored in Music Education, and do a helluva good job at it, if I do say so myself.

The genetic engineering project was supposed to be more kid friendly. A cockatoo and a per...   [Read more...]

'Pension.'

'No, come on, you stil saying it like an American.'

'I *am* an American.'

'Yeah but you're in Paris now.'

'You mean Paree.'

'Piss off. Now say it again. Pawn she on.'

'Nah. Too hard. It's pension.'

'I'm not going through with this...   [Read more...]

Once, in Beijing, a young girl in a red gown huddled in a doorway.

Twice, in Singapore, she sat by a fountain.

Three times, in Kuala Lumpur, at three different locations, she waited by Banyan trees.

She was waiting. Always waiting.

She was waiting...   [Read more...]