I'm Theo. You might remember me. I had a guest role in several 80's sitcoms. Thigns jus didn't work out for me, I guess.

I got married at one point in my career, but that didn't work out either. I still keep in touch with my Mother-In-Law, though.

Last week, she invited me over to dinner. She doesn't seem to be doing so well herself. Turns out, she'd only invited me over in a vindictive mood about my divorce from her daughter. She came at me with a knife at one point.

Well, I wrestled the knife away from her and convinced her I was not such a bad guy. Then I rooted through the refrigerator after tying her to a chair and found only Hot Dogs. Yum. All beef.