living in the moment (remembering the moment)
by bespectakate – 5 months ago
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You get so used to one set of reality that you don't really consider that another one could exist.
Which is a very pretentious way of saying that feelings change without us even noticing it.
It's only when I'm reminded of the intensity of feeling that I notice that I am simply not feeling it anymore. What once felt like lifeline and lifeblood is now just a passing memory. A potentially entertaining thought process, but not worth obsessing over. Barely worth my time.
It's simultaneously comforting and distressing, to know that such intensity can be felt one moment but in a matter of days (weeks, months - or hours?) can disappear, leaving a whisper behind, a trace perhaps. The odd thought that pops up uninvited, no longer the singular occupying feature.
I have always known that this world shifts and shakes and changes often without my notice, but this feels like a revelation - perhaps it is the same concept, waking me up to notice how wonderful and terrible time is, to recall the simple pressures of living and memory, to remind me to feel with deep intensity even if it is to die on the vine, to enjoy the moment.
But I'll forget that, in time.
