i was playing with me mate cheeseball the fat slob and all of a sudden he came on my face. Peanut butter is chunky, you're fat

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“Pob lwc.” the elder of Saint Joseph’s had wished me, after his strange warning. I presumed he meant for my first Mass to be held, as traditional, at Midnight on Christmas Eve. It went well, the service, with a fuller than expected attendance, to see the ‘new man’, I presumed.

Later, sat still in just the candle light, I sighed, thinking I’d found a final home. It was then that the Bwgan Fawr sighed too. A man of middling years, he seemed, from one of the middling centuries, but as translucent as chip paper fat.

He pointed at the great...

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I slowly made my way through the rows of seated people desperate to get out of this ceremony. The elder slowly pushed me on, slowly sighing with defeat i trudged through the long narrow line of people anxiously looking around the crowd only to be met with a sea f unfamiliar faces. Upon my arrival to the temple, the elder smudged glowing paint onto my face whilst chanting words foreign to my ears, he stood up and lit the large pit with fire before the crowd made weird hand gestures and chants that grew louder as the seconds went by....

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I felt blood running down my body, i had stab marks in my stomach, two of them, i was alone, on the dirt, with nobody around to help me. I looked up to see a bull standing over me, grunting, breathing heavily, i got up and walked away slowly. when i got up the bull saw the blood and ran away, i tighten my shirt around my stomach, run to the lake across from the sandy field and washed off the blood. My mum saw me from the balcony a few blocks down from the sandy field and she came...

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I will always remember my 10th birthday. It was the funniest day ever. everything was fine and amazing with the princess posteres over the garage walls and the tabel and my cake with disney written on it and all the colours of the rainbow. 'smile honey' my mum said moving closer towards me.
Then she fell, Forward and face first into the cake. The Party around me erupted into laughter and yelling at me 'hey liz, your mums a clutz.' they laughed even harder at that comment. I walked around the table to sea what she tripped on and guess...

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”Beware the Bwgan Fawr.” the old Vicar sighed. “Every chapel has to have its ‘Ysbryd capel’…”

“Its chapel ghost?” the younger clergyman replied. His pronunciation was still more ‘gog’, more Northern, than the man he was replacing felt comfortable with. Too… foreign. If such a phrase could be used for a fellow Welshman.

A shame, his body was found the morning after his first Midnight Mass. Just outside the chapel door, lying as if it had carried a great weight across the threshold, and then collapsed with the release of his burden. A heart attack, they said. Strange in someone...

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Hi, My name is Bob and i like small cars. People tell me it's a tractor but i know that its just a small car and you ARE NOT CHANGING MY MIND. TRY ME. judge me all you want but just know that i'm better than you in every aspect of life. All you millenials are confusing and you make life much harder for yourselves with your phone mobiles and boyfriends at such young ages. See living a simple life like me is so nice and uh, refreshing if I do say so myself. I just randomly stroll the streets...

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