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The rain came pouring down upon me. And as I lay there, my cheap gown leeching its red dye into the gutter, I imagined my own blood joining it and just letting myself go away. I thought about it for a long, long time. The rain intensified. The thunder seemed to be synched to my thoughts and my sudden spasms of regret and anguish and misery.

It came down to making a choice. I would either stand up and walk on, or I wouldn't. I thought about how long it would take for me to perish in this place, knowing that when the city woke up the next morning that I would be quickly forced to leave and find somewhere else to huddle. A dark nook in which to disappear is not so easy to find as you might imagine.

In the end, I stood up.

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Once, in Beijing, a young girl in a red gown huddled in a doorway.

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