Joined over 8 years ago


79 reputation

69 stories

Visit website


Ladygirl of a British persuasion; sometimes I actually write stories that aren't depressing (but not very often)

I write for the, which is a webcomic about superheroes. Interesting ones. Cute ones, too. Which is nice. (It's cheerier than most things I write. That's where the happy goes, guys.)


living in the moment (remembering the moment)

by bespectakate over 7 years ago

You get so used to one set of reality that you don't really consider that another one could exist.

Which is a very pretentious way of saying that feelings change without us even noticing it.

It's only when I'm reminded of the intensity of feeling that I notice that I am simply not feeling it...   Read more


by bespectakate over 7 years ago

It was difficult getting to people to understand that actually you wanted to be in the cage. That the cage was the safest place at the moment.

The rest of the world had gone mad - or at least, it seemed that way. Maybe the world had always been like this, maybe there had always been something in a stranger's eye, maybe there was...   Read more

words are never simple, darling, when they're aimed at you

by bespectakate over 7 years ago

Words were labels that he had never paticularly enjoyed. Words were lazy, letting you lapse into not thinking about them. Once you had the label for it, you could move on, not bother thinking about the object itself.

"Weird" was a label. It was a sentence. It was a write-off. A decision...   Read more

a thousand tiny beauty marks

by bespectakate almost 8 years ago

"Constellation of freckles."

I made a face. "Oh, that's going on the list."

She nodded with a degree of authority - she hadn't needed me to tell her it belonged on our list of paticularly purple prose, our list of phrases that were to be avoided at all costs.

"Can you even get a constellation of...   Read more

waterloo sunset's fine

by bespectakate about 8 years ago

If your parents are going to name you after a song, there are a few things they should think about.

For a start, it needs to be a good song. Actually, no, it needs to be an actual name. Nobody wants a kid called "You know what they do to guys like us in prison."

But it still needs to be a good song. A really good...   Read more

the heavy chains of flesh

by bespectakate about 8 years ago

It was the fall that surprised me most. Stumbling, suddenly in darkness, in a vile body that felt alien, so different, so limited, so odd - nothing to...before.

They never believed me, never believed what I said, when I tried to explain where I belonged (this tongue is clumsy and cannot say the words I need - I use...   Read more

happily ever after

by bespectakate about 8 years ago

It felt like the last night on earth, the last day of the world.

The truth of it was simply that it was the last day for the two of them.

She wasn't certain she could really pinpoint the day they ended, nor that she could really work out why they ended. It was as if she'd woken up one morning, looked at him (his back, how...   Read more

she is pursued

by bespectakate about 8 years ago

She was a goddess.

Her sacrifices were mostly time; her father was procrastination, and through him most of her sacrifices were received. Her temple was the internet, the pub, every conversation which began "I read somewhere - ", or "I saw the other day - ", or "Am I right in thinking - "

Quizzes were her festivals....   Read more

and nails digging into her palm

by bespectakate about 8 years ago

They called it co-dependent. They labelled it, the need to go from one relationship to another, to never be alone - they labelled it like it was bad. Like it wasn't what everyone did.

Alright, maybe - just maybe - she took it too far, maybe she was a little too reliant on whoever's hand was (by rights) hers at...   Read more


by bespectakate about 8 years ago

It's always late at night that it hits you. Just as you're about to go to sleep, you're about to actually give in to the quilt, to the mattress, and the darkness, your mind is going to release, and then -

Sometimes it's a welcome thought. Sometimes it's useful, helps you get things finished in time, or it's a great idea you need to...   Read more