by Shteevie over 7 years ago
We danced until the mimes came home. It was Halloween and the mimes owned the bank. They ate the bank because the bank was made of chocolate. There was no place to go. It was snowing.
So Jenny, my dance partner, grabbed one of the mimes and tore his stomach open. Blood and gore flew everywhere, but that wasn't important. What was important is that inside the mime's stomach was a warm motel where we could stay. The proprietor of the motel was Hulk Hogan. He rented us a room for $5 plus a bag of pretzels.
In the room was a bed, a sink, and a vampire octopus that lived on the ceiling. I lay on the bed and the octopus stuck a tentacle up my nose and started sucking up blood and snot. "Arrgh!" I screamed as my body dehydrated. Jenny hit the octopus with a broom and stepped on it. It died. Then it faded from sight.
We watched TV. A&E. Biography. It was about the life of Ed McMahon. Problem is that Ed McMahon looked like Skeletor from He-man. "Ahahahah" cackled Skeletor/Ed. "Heeeere's Johnny."
The motel room walls collapsed and Jenny and I were in the middle of a speakeasy in 1920s Chicago. Everything was in black and white. An olive skinned guy in a zoot suit and thin mustache was playing the trombone. Pickles spewed out of the trombone's bell. I ate one of the pickles. It was coated in LSD and I started to trip.
I believed that I was a unicorn, the only unicorn in Canada. Stephen Harper was trying to capture me. Then I made a maple tree just by wishing it. The end!!!!!!!!!