What is the one thing you would say if you knew you could delete it instantly?

In the past, we used to write down our thoughts in journals or diaries. These days, we express our feelings one at a time, posting them to our social media followers.

They may not care about the fact that I got cut off in traffic or the other things in life that bother me.

They may not care about my successes. Look at me - I wrote something! I got into the ring and announced a wrestling show!

What about the thoughts we dare...

Trudging through the snow, I saw something move on the path ahead of me.

It was ... a cat!

A white cat. I could barely see it in the snow. How did it get here?

I scooped him up and brought him home. We didn't have any cat food, of course, as we had never owned a pet of any kind.

Maybe he would like a bowl of milk. He sure did! He lapped it up eagerly.

"It looks like we have a cat now," I announced. "What are we going to name him? How about Fireball?"

The girls laughed....

Oh no, she's awake!

The kids scattered and ran back to bed, pretending to be asleep. Their plan to sneak downstairs to peek at their Christmas presents had been foiled.

Instead, they had to wait two more hours until Mom woke them up. What could they do?

"Let's sing Christmas carols!" Judy suggested.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ..." the kids sang.

Mom poked her head in and kids stopped.

"Everywhere you go ..."

Mom poked her head in again and started laughing.

"Are you ready for Christmas?"

"YEAH!"

"Well, it's not time yet. Go back to...

Gradually, Houdini slipped out of his handcuffs. He unshackled his legs and wriggled out of his straitjacket. He was almost free.

The tank was filling with water, but he didn't panic. All he had to do break the glass, but he couldn't find the little hammer that he usually used. It was floating around in the water, and he couldn't reach it.

Houdini was going to have to use a skill he had never used before.

He took a deep breath and sang the highest note that he could.

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The glass shattered and water poured out.

Houdini emerged on...

"This is who I am and I won't hide it."

The president said this as he removed his mask and revealed that he was, in fact, a reptile and a space alien.

"Now, I know what you're thinking. 'Oh no, all of the other aliens are invading and will take over the country.'" Not true! I am on a fact-finding trip to learn how to run an effective government.

"I know that I am going to have to resign because I wasn't born in this country. I will be heading back to my home planet with many ideas about how...

Lorenzo and his army waited outside the city gates, preparing to overthrow King Prime.

"How are we going to get in?" his general asked. "His guards outnumber us three to one."

"I'm thinking," Lorenzo said. "Okay, I've got it. Drop your weapons. We're going to be delivery guys."

"We're all going to be delivery guys?"

"Yeah," Lorenzo replied. "Everyone go back home and grab something you won't miss and put it in a box. Then we pile all of the boxes outside the gate at midnight. In the morning, all of the guards come out to open the boxes and...

Cupid said,
"Nobody knows or cares who I am."
"I'm just one of the pack."
Channeling Jan Brady, he added, "Everyone just cares about Rudolph, Rudolph, Rudolph!"
"Sure, he helped us out that ONE TIME, and now everyone can't stock singing about him."
"He wasn't even in 'The Night Before Christmas." It was On Dasher, On Dancer ... but Rudolph was still in the minors!'
Channeling Rodney Dangerfield, he added, "I get no respect at all. Even PRANCER had a movie made about him.
"I'm not even the most famous Cupid out there! It's that angel baby that shoots people...

Cindy yawned and stretched as she started her day. It was time to walk her pet octopus.

She pulled Ollie out of his protective shell, and they walked across the ocean floor.

"Good morning!" she called to Wally the Whale.

Suddenly, Wally decided to give Cindy and Ollie a ride by lifting them up, completely out of the ocean and depositing them on the sandy shore.

"Mom! Dad! Where have you been?"

"We've been right here. You took a nap."

"Yeah, I just had the craziest dream. I lived on the ocean floor, and I could breathe underwater and everything....

The bear was furious. He was knocking on doors, climbing stairs, and waiting for elevators, and he couldn't find Goldilocks' apartments. It was like one of those frustration dreams.

Finally, the door to Apartment 404 swung open. He peeked inside and found a photo of Goldilocks' family. All blondes. He was in the right place.

"Where's the porridge?"

No porridge. He had to make it himself, and it was too hot!

What about the chairs? They were out on the balcony. Were they too hard? Too soft? Who knows? It was snowing outside.

"I'm glad I can finally get to...

The woolly mammoth lined up for the next event in the prehistoric Winter Olympics: the 400 meter speed skating competition.

This wasn't going to be easy, but he had been practicing. He picked up some momentum and started gliding around the ice, as the other mammoths and dinosaurs cheered for him.

Despite his bulk, the mammoth was in the lead. The other contestants, mostly moose and elk, had wiped out on the ice.

Coming down the home stretch, victory was in sight.

Suddenly, a group of ice snakes slithered onto the track, determined to stop the mammoth's victory party.

The...