She sat cold in her bedroom; freezing. Holding the book to her chest like she couldn't let it go. That book held all of her secrets. Good and bad, ones that could even get her, and some others arrested.

She knew she had to pull herself together; at this point she was sobbing, thinking of everything that was going on in her life, why she was sitting in a nightshirt in the 60 degree house when it was -8 outside, when she could be bundled up somewhere else where it was actually warm outside.

She opened her journal for some clarity; page 89 was from June, 2009. The 30th of June; "Zak called me today and asked me to move in with him; my relationship is pretty much over anyway, and I know he's breaking up with me soon." God. What a joke. She flipped to page 92, "On our vacation he proposed - I'm so happy I can't believe it." 95. "What am I doing, when two weeks ago I was prepared that this was over. I was prepared to be in love with someone else, and I might be." 130 "January, 2011 - I've gone awfully far in planning something I'm unsure of. He asked me to move, I don't know what to do except keep it in the back of my head and forget about him...I know it won't work but I can try. Atleast he sort of knows I love him...even if I don't leave here. Even if we never talk again."