I have a reputation.

The type of reputation that, when I walk into a room, people smirk or have that flash in their eyes that clearly says "I know what you did last night".

I have a reputation. I'm not that proud of this reputation, I mean, I wouldn't advise the me of the past to do it all over again. But I did do it. I did take that guy up to my room, and I did agree to go on a drive with that guy, and I did let that guy pick me up from work even though I knew the fall out would be awful.

But you know the thing that keeps me awake at night? The fact I never kissed my first love.

You see, it has never troubled me the not so wise decisions I've made when it comes to love and heartbreaks, because I made those decisions, I knew what I was doing.

But not kissing that guy, that wasn't my choice, that was out of my hands, that was youth and stupidity and now I am always left, wondering.

Me and my friend, we've tried the being together thing, we know it wouldn't work, and now there's no doubt, no regrets, no confusion.

But he moved away, so all I'm left with is doubt and regrets and confusion. I am left wondering.

Would we still be together? Would we have parted by now? Would it have been everything I imagined? Or would it have been a disappointment?

I regret nothing I've done. I don't believe in regret.