I have a cat.

Look at my cat. This is my cat. I have a cat.

The cat likes it when I hold it. The cat likes to put its paws on my shoulders. It is my cat. I have a cat.

The cat is tawny and it likes looking at the sky on snowy days. It is not cold because it has fur. I am not cold because I have a warm jacket and a toque. I have a cat.

My cat has a name. Its name is Cat. That's right. Cat. Cat is a cat. Cat the cat.

CAT!!!

CAT!!!

CAT!!!

Sometimes I like to put my face right up close to Cat so our noses are touching. Then I close my eyes and I scream: "CAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!" (Often this scares Cat and Cat runs away.)

I have a cat.

CAT!!!

Here is a haiku I wrote about my cat:

Hey. I have a cat.
My cat has a name. It's Cat.
Hey. I have a cat.

Cat is fat. Cat is fat because I feed it steak and almonds and figs. I get them from the store. Cat is not allowed in the store. There is a reason Cat is not allowed in the store. Here is the reason: He's a cat.

Cats are not allowed in the store. Once I gave Cat a stone. Here is what Cat did to the stone: He sniffed it. Then he walked away. He never paid attention to the stone again. It's like the stone didn't even exist.

Once there was an old lady playing bingo in the park. Cat clawed her eyes out and then chewed off all her fingers. The old lady was screaming. Blood was flying everywhere. No one was mad because Cat was adorable.

I like my cat. My cat is 7 years old. I got my cat at the pet store. The person who sold me cat was named Zoe. Zoe was a teenager and she wore all black and her head was shaved and she had 5 piercings in her ear and she ate a cheeseburger from McDonalds as I bought cat.

"Hope you like your cat," said Zoe.

"You know I will," I said.

We went home and I pulled out a string toy. Cat loved it.

CAT!!!

CAT!!!

CAT!!!!!