Oh look at the house. It has snow on the roof. Santa will be mad. How is he supposed to get down the chimney if there's snow on the roof. Wait a minute. There's no chimney. Guess Santa will have to break into the house instead.

But gol, I think we should make sure all the roofs are clear of snow for Christmas Eve. I mean, them reindeer can't enjoy snow all that much.

So anyway, Santa Claus has a disease that makes his hair fall out. He kind of looks like this: O But he has a head on there too.

Ahhhhhh!!! The roof still has snow on it. Wouldn't it be neat if snow was yellow instead of red. Then we'd all think it's mustard. Whenever someone says mustard, it sounds like a description of someone who has to crap really bad. Ya know? "Must turd." I wonder if Santa ever has to use the bathroom when he's on the road. Probably. I bet Santa stinks up a few bathrooms on 12/24. I mean... fat people usually stink worse than non-fat people do. This is probably a prejudiced thing to say, but I don't censor myself in six-minute stories. Yeah, Santa probably eats lots of red meat. Not sure how the reindeer feel about that. But Santa eats lots of steak and eggs and chocolate cake and that probably makes his butthole stink worse than a garbage dump.

Think about that, kiddies. Think about how much you'd love Santa if you had to wipe his ass once he becomes decrepit and unable to care for himself. Maybe you'd have enough of him. Maybe you'd scoop his eyeballs out with a spoon and cut out his intestines and bathe in the blood that spews out of his abdominal cavity. Ho ho ho! Screw you!

Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus...........