"You heard me right, friends. The evil that is draining our country of vitality is NOT Wall Street, NOT Washington D.C., NOT the Chinese or video games or foreign oil! No sir!"

I looked out at them, every one of them shocked at hearing this deviation from the party line, hearing my "lunatic heresies", as the bloggers and cable news harpies would no doubt dismiss them.

"NO SIR!" I thundered, rocking them back in their seats. "I tell you that the greatest threat to America and TO THE WORLD is this scourge, this pestilence, this new opiate of the masses: National Novel Writing Month!"

The silence resounded from the sweaty walls of the convention center.

"How DARE they try to think! To create! To be... original!" I spit out the words with all the contempt they deserved.

And, as with one voice, I became their New Messiah.