It is muddy. I went for a walk and there was mud everywhere. Even in the woods, which are supposed to be haunted, But I dont care. I am suicidal so if I get killed by a ghost or a goblin, it's no skin off my back.

I entered the forest and I got mud all over my slippers. Up ahead there was an animated scarecrow holding a scythe. "Hello," I said. The scarecrow cut off both my legs. Blood flew everywhere. But then my stumps started to itch and throb and vibrate. From them grew pogo sticks. My legs were now pogo sticks. Cool.

I jumped down the muddy forest path. With each jump I went even higher. Soon I was jumping above the trees. Then into the clouds. Then above Mount Everest. Then into the stratosphere where I couldn't breathe, so I had tol hold my breath. Then I bumped my head on one of Saturn's rings. The ring was moving very very fast and it cut off the top of my head, like a buzzsaw. All my brains flew out of my skull and got sucked into outer space. Then I landed back on Earth again. Only I had no brain, like the scarecrow, who was waiting for Dorothy.

So i landed on my bummy bum bum and there was mud on me and I couldn't think of what to do because I had no brain. So I crawled. Some boys scouts broke through the trees. All of them looked exactly like Colonel Sanders. They agreed to cut off my pogo stick legs and replace them with shovels. This they did. Now I had shovels for legs. I kicked my legs up and down and dug a big hole. The hole went to the centre of the earth. I looked in it and saw all the bones of everyone who ever lived. I saw my Aunt Gladys. "Hi aunt Gladys," I said. Gladys didnt reply. She was dead. That's why she didnt reply.

The boy scouts took me back to their camp and killed me and roasted me on the fire. I bet I tasted good. Yum!!!