She was the most delicate girl in town. But looks could be deceptive. Ruth knew he was somewhere in the house. Unfamiliar surroundings would make it difficult for easy location of prey, but that wouldn't delay the inevitable. She was as confident as she could be that no help would come. The old place was too isolated; one of its charms. Ironically, it was what had attracted her to the place. The appeal of sole occupation. Nothing to disturb her work.

Fortunately, she'd made it to the Kitchen and its drawers of sharp, clean, very clean knives. Ms. (note the "Muz" not "miss") L'esse had always appreciated methodical cleanliness.

Improvised weapon in hand the odds of avoiding a bad end were dramatically reduced. No time to ponder. A blink of an eye, and he was in front of her, breathless from the effort of running, hate filling his face. She'd already hurt him. He was showing it.

"You wimper like a little girl." 

The sound faltered, replaced with an unvoiced "Why?" Her eyebrows raised in attempted empathy. "Why?" she said. 

"Be… 
cause… 
I… 
can…" 

The poetry of stabbing out the rhythm of her reply, four quick stabs to his neck and chest, would replay sweetly in her mind's eye as she consciencuously removed evidence of her own presence.

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DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Historical note: Stuck in a coach in Turkey, several snatches of story suggested themselves, but I had no way to write them down. No paper, phone dead, so they've waited in my sub-conscious. Now, as I rest from some of the most stressful travelling I've done for a long time, I'm indulging myself with a bit of writing. Please forgive the subversion of what would otherwise quite romantic firdt

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

(sorry) first line.

2
xesands over 11 years ago

Gruesome, but very well executed. Nicely done.

1
Galen over 11 years ago

Jeeeeeeez... I was thinking, "Save the maiden in distress!!" until the last line. Yikes.

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Thank the Gods. Most of the last 3minutes were combing the prose to make sure it could be read two ways, so that assumptions would choose one, but hindsight see the other. Like those Duck-Rabbit pictures where you can see one animal or the other, but never both. Glad it worked. Did you not see the name clue? I hope not, until afterwards anyway.

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Argh! That Contribute button! I wish I could delete duplicate comments :-( I do it all the time

Galen over 11 years ago

Yeah. I'm working on the duplicate comments thing, among a whole bunch of other big updates. But I gotta pay rent first :|

Galen over 11 years ago

The name clue?

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Ruth L'esse

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Got featured! Thank you Galen :-)

Galen over 11 years ago

Ah! Ruthless... got it. Somehow I thought Ms. Lesse was his landlord's name :D

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

I can see that. I was hoping it wasn't too obvious, but being from one point of view with the third person, I was wanting a reread to realise the connection. Not sure how well it worked, but 6 minutes isn't too long to contemplate everything. My wife is pleased I got featured, but also worried that it is rather dark...

Galen over 11 years ago

Right! 6 Minutes isn't very long at all. That's why it got featured. Layered complexity of plot and the twist of the knife in the reader's back at the end.

And let your wife know we tend to feature talent, rather than the moral of the story :D

diaryofacrazywoman over 11 years ago

I was very surprised with this. Very good. I love a good twist. Thank you very much.

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

Thank you. Although with that username, surely you'd have guessed the ending?

diaryofacrazywoman over 11 years ago

I had a feeling, but wasn't sure. You can never truly be sure.

DoctorMikeReddy over 11 years ago

What's that noise? Behind you...
Was that...? No, probably nothing...

DoctorMikeReddy (joined over 13 years ago)
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I do all sorts of things. Mostly badly. Mostly better than others. I tell stories. Occasionally, I lie.

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Story information

License

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0

genres

Horror

tags

isolation Knives

Prompt

She was the most delicate girl in town.
Prompt suggested by Gone Awry

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