Dear Santa,
Hi. I'm not good at beating around the bush, so I will get right to the point. Here is my list for Christmas this year. I realize that it is April 15th, and I am late in filing my taxes, but I felt this was more important than filing my taxes. Also, I really, really, really don't want to file my taxes. Anyway, my Christmas list.
1. I'd like a pony. A plain, brown pony is fine. If you can bring one named Trigger or Lightning or Sidney Applebaum, that would be terrific, but really, just a regular pony will do.

2. I'd also like a beanie hat. You know, with the propeller and all that? Don't ask why. You don't want to know.

3. I'd also like 13 pounds of macaroni. I could live off this for a brief time, and could feed my pony as well. This can come with or without cheese. I'm not greedy.

4. Lastly, I'd like 30 jillion dollars in small, unmarked bills. I'd appreciate you not asking


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markthehansen (joined almost 14 years ago)
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A writer, reader, swashbuckler, former counter-spy, soda jerk, space cowboy, and honorary Professor of Not-Quite-Mad-But-Pretty-Unusual Sciences at the University of Genial Monsters (Go Smilin' Sasquatch!), Mark J. Hansen has secretly saved the universe numerous times, with more close calls than he cares to admit. He enjoys fast trips through time and space, arm-wrestling rainbows, eccentric headwear and kittens with British accents. When he is not sharing his Stories of the Amazing and the Amazingly Well-Written, he mostly hangs out in his hot-air balloon overlooking Skull Island with a root beer float and a parrot on each shoulder, practicing hypnotism and innovative shoe-tying techniques.

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