Mike Radley is from Catterick Village and has an ugly nose and a fat gut. Sheila Webb, from Catterick Garrison, isn't very attractive either. They have a date tonight because their internet dating service matched them.
Mike Radley has a pint of lager in his hand and foam on his top lip that he hasn't bothered to wipe off. Sheila Webb notices but doesn't say anything: Sheila Webb is too busy poking the black plastic drinking straw in and out of her alcopop bottle.
Mike Radley's dating profile says that his ideal first date would be a romantic walk, perhaps around the tree-lined circumference of a Cumbrian ox bow lake. Sheila Webb's dating profile says that she enjoys long, romantic walks and loves the outdoors.
Their first date has so far amounted to five or six drinks apiece in a pub on Mike Radley's estate.