I took a ball, and threw it against the brick wall, to have it bounce back. I threw it again and again, to have it come back, back into my hands. I thought about my decisions, about how I threw away my future, and my life. He told me to do it. I know he did. I blame myself, not him. I threw the ball again, and heard the loud crack of it bouncing of the wall. When I hurled it the next time, I threw it as hard as I could, and rocketed back to me, through my legs, and rolled down the junkyard. I saw it hit a piece of metal, and fly into a pile of decontaminated trash. I looked at the wall, the junkyard and the ball. And I threw my self against the wall, to bounce right b