The girl looked at the crowds of people, like a flow, massive and unbearable, pressing in on her. The car sat in front of her, a dent in it's front bumper. She looked at the red gown hanging over her shoulders and puzzled to herself. I thought this was blue.

There had to be a better place to be. A sweeter smelling place.

Come with me, the voice said.

She looked around, her dark eyes narrowing. Her nostrils twitched, sour, offended. Something made her head pull back and away. Sulfurous.

Come with me, the voice said again.

Against her better judgement, the girl smiled. It was a little boy. Only two years old, maybe. That he could speak seemed a miracle. He held out his small, delicate hand. He tilted his head, once, twice.

Come with me, he said.

She took his hand.

Her soaking wet red gown slipped from her shoulders. She stood up out of the doorway, let the boy take her away from the crowd that pressed in her. The faces scared her, the way they looked at her. The car idled, bored.

She walked away from the accident and no one seemed to notice.

She looked back at her body on the ground and smiled. Goodbye.

Comments

Want to comment? Login or Join

Login Sign up
Galen about 14 years ago

Eerie. The foreshadowing "I thought this was blue" was a great touch. I'm marking this featured.

JamesTichenor about 14 years ago

Thanks for the props Galen! Love the site, will be visiting daily.

Scraps about 14 years ago

Wow, I didn't even catch the "soaking wet red gown"" until reading it a second time. Great subtlety and twist.

jadetine about 14 years ago

I was turned off by the movie reference in the beginning, but felt like the story was reconciled at the end. Bravo!

Galen over 11 years ago

Still really enjoy this story 2 years later :)

JamesTichenor (joined about 14 years ago)

1 favorites

Story information

License

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0

Prompt

Once, in Beijing, a young girl in a red gown huddled in a doorway.
Prompt suggested by Galen

Contact


We like you. Say "Hi."