They were trapped for seven days, four storeys down, in a subway car.

Just the two of them.

Midfight, mid-breakup, mid-life-altering-altercation, the lights had flickered. Then gone out.

In the darkness Jake had offered a tentative "Hello?" and chuckled quietly.

Cooper had shouted back. At the moment they realized the darkness would not abate, that help would not come, that they were trapped, they'd retreated to opposite ends of the car.

Cooper flipped the emergency switch and forced open a door. A rotting stench flooded the car.

Doors shut again they studied the opposite end of the car.

On the third day Jake broached a cease fire. "You've noticed the other people..."

Cooper rejoindered, "What other people?"

"My point."

"When the lights went out..."

"Really? The lights went out and WHAT?"

"Where the FUCK did they go?"

"They're probably still here."

"Why can't we hear them. Smell them. Anything them?"

And then Jake again, "Come back to my side. I'm cold. And frankly, scared."

Cooper said nothing.

Then a shuffling sound, and then Cooper sat beside Jake.

Jake: "Why can't I feel you? I can't smell you either. Nothing."

Cooper smiled, "Nor the others. Jake. It's raining up here."

Comments

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yangjanice over 11 years ago

keep going with the story!

xesands over 10 years ago

Oh I like this one...quite a bit. Makes me want to know more.

Galen over 10 years ago

Thank you, quite a lot.

Galen over 11 years ago

Hm. I felt like it concluded. Does need some revisions for clarity. You're welcome to continue it :)

GiuseppeFrancescoTalese over 11 years ago

love it. its beautiful

Galen over 11 years ago

Thank you :)

xesands about 10 years ago

I caved to temptation and recorded it: http://snd.sc/FOBXKj

Galen (joined over 12 years ago)
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Glad to have this back online for the decade anniversary.

3 favorites

Story information

License

Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommerical-ShareAlike 3.0

genres

magical realism

tags

rain Rain dreams loneliness claustrophobia

Prompt

They were trapped for seven days.
Prompt suggested by jadetine

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