My fiance loves potatoes. She loves potatoes, like, more than a friend. But only if they're in french fry form. She's actually a french fry sniper. If I order food accompanied by fries, it's a guarantee that throughout the course of our meal, she will surreptitiously steal fries one by one until my stash of salty goodness has been completely plundered.

I have no defense for her fry-stealing ways. She's an addict. There's no other way to describe it. I want to stage an intervention and have our friends and family sit her down and confront her about this. I foresee tears. Also snacks, but not french fries--after all, you wouldn't drink a beer in front of an alcoholic while confronting them about their drinking.

My fiance keeps the ketchup industry afloat. They are building statues in her honor at the Heinz factory. This I am sure of.

My fiance is a french fry addict.