Woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof. Woof. Bark woof. Woof. Woof woof woof. Bark bark woof bark. Woof.

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You gave me the best summer of my life. The summer before I went to college, I wished that everything we had shared would never change.

We kissed on the bench in my backyard, in your car in the rain, at the movies...Then once I got to college, it was your apartment.

Back to summer; I can't think of better moments I could have shared with anyone else.

After my sophomore year, I didn't see you again. And I'll always think of the night you proposed, watching MTV, high, at 4am.

I will remember the way you used to look...

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She hated when people asked where she came from. She didn't like dwelling on the past, or for that matter, thinking of it at all.

The past made her feel weak, vulnerable. She loathed feeling that way.

She wasn't weak, like her mother. Her mother stayed with him to rot.

But not Laura, she got out as soon as she could. As far away as she could from him, the man that had the nerve to call himself her father.

He was evil, he was a monster that haunted her dreams, she hated him. Him and his "holier then though"...

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The water crashes onto our feet. His hand lets go of mine as he turns away from me. He tells me he can't let me do this. I just shake his thoughts away. If you loved me you'd stay with me. I look at him and smile. He was really remarkable. I sweep away the hair that had fallen into his eyes. Our lips embrace for the last time. He tries to hold on to me but I push him away. I walk into the water as the waves takes me under.It's colder then I imagine. I can hear his...

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"I'm falling in love with her."

"Oh, that's nice, that really is." She watched him sit up, get up, finding his clothes. "I'm glad."

"That means that this stops."

She frowned. "What? Why?"

He turned to stare at her. "Why? Because this is cheating as it is, let alone -"

"This is just physical. Let her have the emotional and let me have the physical." She got out of bed, sauntering towards him, smirking when he turned away. "There's no reason to stop."

"I really feel something for her. I don't want to hurt her."

"You aren't hurting her. She'll...

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Once, in Beijing, a young girl in a red gown huddled in a doorway. Like it had been ever since the Chinese industrial 'revolution', it was smoggy and grey. She stared off into the limited distance, trying to peer beyond all the smog.

"Where's mother?" A voice came from behind her.

"Oh, you know the answer to that, Chang'e," she replied. "Go ask dad. I'm sure that he'll say what he's always said."

"What's that?" she asked.

"You're so forgetful..." the girl mumbled.

"But you are too!" said Chang'e. "I bet you don't even remember what father said to you...

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It confused them, the gnarled branch lying across rows of newly planted wheat. The tree had been healthy and the weather clear. A bob of bushy fur worked its way along the length of the fallen wood as a squirrel investigated the carnage.

Years from now, when the children had scaled the sheer rock face near their home, they'd think back to this day.

"And now where shall we climb?" the boy asked.

"There," the girl replied, a mountain peak under her finge

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We danced until the mimes came home. It was Halloween and the mimes owned the bank. They ate the bank because the bank was made of chocolate. There was no place to go. It was snowing.

So Jenny, my dance partner, grabbed one of the mimes and tore his stomach open. Blood and gore flew everywhere, but that wasn't important. What was important is that inside the mime's stomach was a warm motel where we could stay. The proprietor of the motel was Hulk Hogan. He rented us a room for $5 plus a bag of pretzels.

In the room...

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"Bad way to go," said Detective Renfield. He was standing over the body (or what was left of it) with his arms akimbo.

I sighed, adjusting my hat to better shade me from the hot sun. "Fourth case this month," I reminded him. "Maybe city hall will finally get serious about the pigeons after this."

"Nah, I wouldn't count on it," my partner said cynically. "A few bums get eaten by pigeons, what do folk like them care?"

"According the statistics, the pigeon population's tripled in just a few months," I remarked, thinking back to my interview with Professor Gendry....

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There once was a woman from Kenya
Who grew a voracious gardenia
A plant that ate men
With a touch of cayenne
That the woman decided to send ya

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