JustinRedmon (joined almost 13 years ago)


When nothing really matters you can make anything mean everything. We were building sandcastles, waiting for the high tide to erase the evidence. No one wanted to be here anymore. We were hesitant to make permanent changes, but never really afraid of anything at all.

When nothing really means anything, maybe only everything means something. Try to interpret the meaning of double negatives and find yourself lost in a maze of meanings. Maybe.

We were building snowmen on the first day of spring, waiting for the weather to turn and ruin everything. No one we knew wanted to be here...

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The disco ball was turning, emitting those little points of light just like in the aging movies. Soft music was playing, and I couldn't decide of this was romantic or embarrassing. It was the second time I had ever danced, yet I feigned confidence. She was Lilith, I was nervous. Later, I knew there'd be sex and horror. I felt the decay creeping towards us, but pretended it was only the hour. It's getting late, it's getting colder, but it's okay, because I'm here holding her. Big fake smile, a lot of makeup. An expensive looking tuxedo I'd rented at...

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Shape. Whatever that means. Forms. You can study the symmetry of symbols we use in written language, words. Formless, shadows, we count them, bend our fingers around, call them dragons, call them dreams. Non-euclidean. Shapes that can't exist. Memories, shapes our minds have been forced to hold. Thoughts, shapes our minds create to deal with hope and fear, which... which perhaps I have a difficult time distinguishing between. Angular, curvature, some caricature of what I thought I'd be at 24. 24. Two shapes, angular and curvaceous.

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Water. That's what I always think of when I think of her. Cannon Creek, Lake Erie, the Atlantic, the Pacific, nothing too specific.
Water can be anything you need, want, fear, love, hate. It can be clear, it can be murky. It can be warm, cold, swallow, deep. All these things are what water naturally is.
In my memory, our love is an ocean. Oh, yes. We were in love. I'm not so hopelessly romantic that I would ever be involved in unreciprocated love. No, no. We were in love, and it was the ocean.
She swam in the clear...

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