It is beautiful. The trail was never going to end. Or at least I wasn't going to make it to the end. I won't live forever. I will die before we reach the end of the trail. We'd been traveling for three years. By all calculations it will take another four to five years. I realized that as I was digging through the journals from the explorers before us. I realized that the rest all knew that, they just didn't want to tell me. To tell me that what I had fought for wasn't ever going to be mine.
But that is what has made all the difference. Realizing that there is no finish line. That there is no end. I could finally appreciate the scenery. Appreciate my fellow companions. Appreciate the journey. I have still been trying my best, and now my best is even better. I am not doing it just for myself anymore. It cannot be for me. It is for the rest of them. They will reach the promised land. So what I do now is a gift to them. And it is so wonderful to give a gift that can last like that. I am happier now, knowing that it isn't about me. It is beautiful.