Holy crap, this guy is annoying me again. I mean Jesus Christ, what does he want now?

He always bugs me, hits my head and walks right behind me. It seems no matter where I go, he is there waiting.

Then, when I need him, he can't be found. He disappears for what appears to be hours on end, only to take his pants off and then call for me.

What am I? A servant? I don't fetch things like beer. I don't fold clothes.

Fuck man, I'm cat.

I keep the creases in the clothes nice by laying on them. And, I make sure all the black items receive extra attention by laying on them for long periods of time.

I sleep all day while you disappear. Now, at what seems like really late in the evening, it is time to play.

I really can't comprehend why you think we need to do everything on your weird schedule. I mean, don't you know when the sun is out, you sleep and when the moon is up, it is time to play?

Why do you think you can tell me where to go and not go? That counter is my bitch, and I am going to walk all over it. I do it when you aren't here, and when you are here, I really could care less.

If I was any bigger, I would lay on your face while you sleep. I really can barely stand you, damn biped.

Anyway, I was thinking about putting this mouse in your bed later. You know, just to let you know where I stand.

Now, get your lazy ass over here and pet my damn head please. I don't have thumbs and this is really tricky to get.

Come on. I'm waiting. Jerk.