"No, absolutely not, that's completely ridiculous."
"But why, John?" asked Amy, staring at the tigers in the enclosure. "They're just big cats. It can't hurt."
John snorted, his unique way of showing contempt, disgust and amusement all in one foul sound. "They're tigers, Ames. Tigers. You know, man eating wild animals? They'd sooner eat us than live with us. You're mental."
"But I want one. And you said you'd get me whatever I wanted. You promised. It's my birthday." Amy pouted and stamped her foot.
John rolled his eyes. "Within reason, sweetheart! I mean within reason. And don't stamp around like that, you're thirty two not five."
Amy stamped her foot again, just to annoy her lover. "But that's what I want," she insisted. "That big one, over in the corner. He's so cute! I can just imagine him lying on our bed at night, purring away to himself. Adorable!"
John shook his head firmly. "You're being silly." Tears sprang up in Amy's eyes and he tried to backtrack. "What I mean is, it's not ideal, is it? We live in a flat to start with, no outside space, we haven't even got any food for a tiger. Or a litter tray or anything. Where do you even begin?"
"Ask a zoo keeper," said Amy. "They'll know."
John sighed. "Isn't there anything else you want?"
"Well," said Amy slowly. "We could get married."
"I'll find the keeper!"