"Wait, so he hit you?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"Why are you still with him? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm not still with him, per se. I'm on a break with him."

"That break should be permanent."

"You don't understand!"

"The moment a guy hits you, you should be out the door, no questions asked. You never know if he's going to do it again."

"It's not his fault!"

"No, right. His hand detached from his body and smacked you right across the cheek. Look at that! That bruise looks horrible. And you're defending him?"

***

"Wait, so she hit you?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to retaliate, but it was kind of instinct. After the first one, she came back a second time and I blocked it... And my training kicked in. My hand was out before I could even register it."

"Wait, but dude. Are you telling me that Kelsey, that tiny little chick, managed to give you that?"

"Look, my eye is besides the point. What do I do?"

"Turn in your man card, bro. You're such a pussy."

***

"You need to report him to the police."

"But it wasn't all his fault!"

"So? That man is dangerous."

"I hit him, too."

"That was self-defense. Besides, you're a girl. It's not like it's that bad when you're a girl."