I shot my butler.

No, actually, I did.

Yea, I know what you're thinking. "This lady's crazy if she's just gonna write about shooting her butler as if it's no big deal. She's probably writing from jail."

Well, I'm not in jail. He's actually fine. It was just.... In the craziness of that day... I didn't even know it was him. One minute there was no one there but the smoke in my eyes and screams in my ears, and the next moment I had a gun in my hand and there was the butler. He took a step toward me and reached his hand out...

Hahaha just kidding. ...Probably not a good joke, huh? Uhhh... Oh well, I've never been one to be good at keeping my mouth shut or being totally PC. Oops.

But actually, he was just teaching my friend and I how to shoot at the gun range. We only had these stupid little unloaded air-shooter things at the time and he's over there talking, like "Don't shoot when people are around you" blah blah, and I'm fiddling with this fake gun and he said my name and I looked up and my hand slipped and I shot him. He was so startled that he fell over backwards and landed in some mud. I shit you not, so funny! Like in a movie.

You can't make this stuff up, people!

And that's the story of how I shot my b