"Let's go for a walk," I said. "I have eaten the salami and now I have strength and you girls need to find sex partners so you will not be frustrated by your inability to satisfy your sexual needs."

"Yes," one girl said. "Let us go for a walk."

And so we went for a walk. Here is how we walked. We put one foot in front of the other. We kept doing this and eventually, we covered distance. I was wearing boots. The girls were still naked so they were in bare feet. I looked at their bellies, which were very trim and flat. Their belly buttons were shallow little clefts. They were sexy belly buttons and ordinarily, this might have inspired desire in me but I am not an ordinary person because I do not want to get laid.

We passed a storm drain. There was water rushing into it. One of the girls pulled the grill off and they jumped into the water. There were piranhas in there and they ate them. They didn't scream as they were eaten though. They laughed, almost like it felt good. Eventually, their eyeballs floated to the surface. I looked into them and it was like they looked at me too. I thought I should take their eyeballs back to the girls apartment and throw them in the toilet that was filled with pee and poo and used tampons and flush it because I thought I would be the first person in history to flush pee, poo, tampons and eyeballs down the toilet at the same time.

But instead I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken. There was a robot Colonel Sanders in there and I told him that the remains of his daughter was floating in the sewer drain at the corner of Lexington and Main. Then a fat girl came out of the kitchen to take my order.

"I will have a drumstick," I said. "No sex though. I am Patrick and I do not want to get laid."


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Shteevie (joined over 12 years ago)

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