Back in his days, John was the sharpest lawyer in town. At the office we used to call him the "Samurai". He used to step into a court room, with a sword for a tongue, he would win over the jury, and he'd win the case, before you even noticed that it started.
So when he took on the case of the murdered child as the defence, the media was all over him. I remember him cancelling a meeting, because there were so many camera teams around him, that he could not move his car. When I asked him why he would choose to defend the guy, he answered it's because he believes in his client's innocence. That was the most important part for him. He had to believe in his clients, he didn't need anything else to win.
And he won that trial, that's for shure. Some people say it was the finest work of an attorney they had ever seen. I mean, that guy, the defendant, he was really deep into trouble. They had his DNA and even a confession, for all of which John had logical explanations. He turned that guy's image from that of a child murderer into one of the biggest victims of injustice in history.
So naturally, it ripped him apart when they caught that guy kidnapping another child just a few weeks later. Already had the boy tranquilized in the back of his van. The news and papers were full of his smiling face in his mug shot. I believe that's what broke poor Johnny. As long as I knew him, his gut was all he had, and if he couldn't trust his gut anymore…
The media shattered his image, asking all kinds of speculative questions. He went from being the most respected citizen of our town, to being the single most hated person, even more so than that child murderer. They called him an accomplice, wondered how many criminals he falsely put back on the streets, wanted all his cases reopened. It was ridiculous. It ruined his marriage and his career.
He managed to get back on his feet, a couple of years after. Has his own little law firm downtown now. He's doing fine, but the trust… He lost that one forever.

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Fablanta about 8 years ago

Some of the phrasing made me wince. I don't know whether that was down to the narrator or the author. It would also have been nice to know what the relationship between Johnny and the narrator was so you could give his version of events some context but hey it's only 6 minutes. One thing I can't accept though is that he would set up his own law firm. If his faith in his clients were so badly shattered he would only prosecute and you can't do that in criminal cases as an independent attorney and after the adrenalin of criminal cases I don't think he would be happy with just civil cases (sorry I've watched too many episodes of Law & Order). I do like his fall from grace, like a priest who has lost his faith.

Jimmie Cannibal about 8 years ago

First off, I really, really appreciate your comment and I must admit that you are absolutely right. It doesn't make much sense for him to open up his own law firm, considering his past. I honestly haven't thought about that.

You said that some of the phrasing made you wince. Could you get a little more specific? Because I seriously want to work on that.

Thanks, JC

Fablanta about 8 years ago

Don't put too much store in what I said Jimmie, I love to nitpick. On re-reading it today it doesn't seem as off as I remembered. Examples of bits that stood out were, "he was really deep into trouble." as opposed to 'he was deep in trouble' and "he falsely put back on the streets" instead of something like 'he had helped go free'. The original versions got the point across it's just that the phrasing took me out of the story to think, what's wrong with the way he just said that.

ganymeder over 7 years ago

I thought this was very well done!

Jimmie Cannibal (joined about 8 years ago)

I rather not...

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Prompt

Prompt (write a story including these elements)

hero Samurai
villain Train
goal Survival
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