You know damn well the head is in the box. You know damn well how this movie will end. But her legs are across yours and she shaved. They're smooth like you could have only guessed, because in winter she was all jeans and tights.

You've been hovering with your hand on her knee and she's so into this damn movie that you've seen one hundred times. She hasn't mentioned that she thinks about sleeping with Brad Pitt, but you see the way her eyes get when he comes on screen. She has yet to give you those eyes, but you're hoping after this second Mike's Hard that she'll have a change of heart.

The movie ends. She says wow. She says she never would have guessed that ending. The joke you want to make is about her living under a rock, but before you can make it, she gets up to use the bathroom. While she's gone, you bury your face in the couch cushion and inhale, in hopes to add a scent to your dreams.