"Don't you realize you can make a cake WITHOUT any the products of my femininity?" asked the chicken. She fluffed her feathers defiantly, shouting over the cars that zoomed mere inches from where she had taken her stance. "That is that last time anyone takes my eggs! I will NOT provide my children for your tasty treats!" She glared at the little girl.

Darla stared at the hefty bird. She adjusted her apron, dusting off some flour with one gloved hand. "I needed eggs for my mother's birthday cake!" she protested. Darting a glance at the heavy traffic, she said nervously, "Come on. PLEASE, come away from the road! If you get hit by a car, my mother will NEVER forgive me!"

"I would rather die a thousand deaths than hand over my progeny to you and your progenitor," said the absurdly intelligent poultry. "Besides, I think I can make it."

Darla reached out with one flour-covered hand, but was too late. The bird darted across the road. She dodged two trucks and an SUV, but alas! Her legs could not move fast enough beneath her substantial bulk. Soon, the inevitable happened.

The child stood weeping by the side of the road. "But, you could have given me a vegan recipe instead!" she cried, sniffling back her disappointment.

OR

(The short version)

Why did the heroic chicken cross the evil road? Because the baker was right behind her!