Hush the forest. Hush where the bear was, the deer have been downed. Hush my screaming heart.

In the kitchen where I am carried after my father's death, I ask for one shortbread cookie filled with jam as my mother Connie smiles around like the carousel she is of feelings. I want to sit in the dark corner and think about the bear mauling him. My father Claus, lying on the needles and still.

I ran into the woods and Meryl knocked me out. Unintentionally, I was fighting him as I would a bear. He cried onto my suede, he cried that he couldn't save him. I pulled away and ran to the craggy rocks where I hid. My mother back at home, humming and smiling. Soon her man and her tomboy daughter would be bringing home the venison. It was always so. My brother Brad in Africa working with the endangered Rhino. He called, they talked. He had no guns. He was still relevant as he was the man child and he understood dad the hunter. There was no rancor.

I am angry so I call my boyfriend on the Princess phone the color of an old 60's frig, he answers,he without a mother, me now without a father. the cookie trays are empty, the milk souring on the counter, I shut the light. Everyone has gone. Except my father.

He is lying still.