My throat ached from a barrage of overpriced, fried abuse. My voice was hoarse, having spent most of the day screaming on children's roller coasters and shouting Marco-Polo in the crowds after my friends. I had waiting 25 years to go to Disneyland, and I was not disappointed. Not yet.

The vengeful sun, gastronomic malfeasance, and hours outside of my normal cubicle-induced sedentary lifestyle decided to wreak havoc. I rushed into familiar territory: a row of screaming toilets and sing-song children. My friends were en queue right outside, leaning against tall hedges.

"What are we waiting for?"

"Something amazing. I think. Look at all these people and all these kids." I shrugged it off. Sure. Maybe this would be fun.

Fast forward 2 hours later, with my imagination rampaging through labyrinthine scenarios. I was disappointe