"What's that you say?" the captain growled into his phone, "Pirates, in our neighborhood?"
He called out to his men, "Raise the flag! Ready your weapons! If they want to be pirates, they can prepare for battle."
The men went about their business, but the usual bounce to their steps were gone. Their captain had spent a wee bit too much time watching Peter Pan as a lad, and they were paying for it
"What weapons would you have us use, cap?" asked one soldier.
"We have no cannons and no plank, are you crazy?" muttered another soldier.
The captain put on his best fake beard and hook as the pirating vessel approaced. "Argh!!," he exclaimed.
The captain across the way could not believe his eyes. He wondered, as his ship was attacked, "Didn't they know this was a holloween comstume?"