Dolly told me about the swimming pool in Mr. Sakimoto's bonsai garden. The water was warm, she said, no matter what time of year. Also we could pee in it. Mr. Sakimoto didn't mind. In fact, it was expected.

We went after school that one day in February. I'd bought a special bathing suit just for the occasion. It was a Speedo. Yellow. With Scooby Doo on the crotch. Dolly didn't like it, but she wasn't my girlfriend, so it didn't matter.

We arrived at 3 a.m. (The bus broke down so we had to walk.) By that time, we were tired. We didn't want to swim. We wanted to soak our sore feet. So we were quite irate to find that Mr. Sakimoto's pool was being drank from by cows.

"Moo," said a cow.

Another cow stepped forward and bit Dolly's left arm off. Dolly screamed. Blood gushed from her shoulder spout and filled the pool.

I didn't know what to do, so I dropped my pants and showed my Scooby Doo Speedo to the cows. They mooed in agony. Either Scooby Doo is ugly or my crotch is.

Just then, Mr. Sakimoto came out of his igloo.

"What you doing?" he asked in his Portuguese accent. "Don't you know that Speedos have been out of style since 1976?"

"No," I said.

"Oh," he replied.