The lead ninja laughs. "You are a fool, Senzi," he says through his mask. "Never make a boast that you cannot back up with action!"

They have me surrounded, five on each side, and one nimbly crouching on the tracks behind me, ready to leap away once the train came too close. I had no such route to safety; the points of their katanas promised a quick death should I stray from the rails.

All I have is my own katana, and my pride.

The ninjas continue to mock and jeer. I will be dead in seconds, they think. I wonder at their cruelty; decades of ninja training and purpose, and here they are, bullying a lone man who had some drinks and maybe said a few things he shouldn't have.

The train is coming on faster and faster. The horn does not blow; they do not notice me, as I am clad in my customary camo gear.

It barrels down on me at a tremendous speed, and I calmly step aside and slice the train in two.

They aren't lag