I shot my butler. Bastard had it coming to him. He insulted me at every turn, never cleaned any dishes, put his feet up as I hoovered the floors. He never did anything for me.

I could have just fired him - that seems like it would have been the rational thing to do. But then he had the guts to insult my mother in front of me.

Nobody insults my mother.

It was a nice sunny day. I was having a picnic with my lovely mistress, out in the woods. We found a nice little clearing where we could...

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