El Wordy Baron

Joined almost 10 years ago


5 reputation

18 stories


We, Byron; A Lord = ?


Contemporary Art

by El Wordy Baron almost 8 years ago

Shape. Contour. Line. Plane.

My mind is swimming with terms; it's hard to know where to begin. Think. THINK!

Placing my hands strategically against my forehead, massaging in circular motions, attempting to eradicate the oncoming hangover, I catch a whiff of last night's Sauza and the whole experience comes flooding into...   Read more

Four Eyes

by El Wordy Baron almost 8 years ago

He grimaced as the flash went off, realizing too late that the final extant image of himself would so clearly portray the unease he was feeling at that moment. All well, he thought -- better that way.

On the one-off cedar deck table he had placed his remaining possessions. The cool glass beneath had the strange optical effect of...   Read more

Everybody Likes Pie

by El Wordy Baron over 8 years ago

Flan in the face, flan in the face, flan in the face.

A wild grin stretched across his face, an expression of pure exuberance, of joy and abandon, just before the pie tin splattered the gelatinous goo all over his tweed coat.

The students were gathered outside the lecture hall, sprawling in the hundreds in the oppressive...   Read more


by El Wordy Baron over 8 years ago

Ridiculous. He had never been so ill-treated in his whole life. To think that such an imbecilic, poorly-dressed, snivel-nosed shit could have the AUDACITY to pour a saintly bordeaux all over his wife put such beet red hues into his cheeks as to suggest asphyxiation, or potential heart failure.

The fat man shook, with an angry tectonic...   Read more

Crimson Sash

by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

The Ministry of Health had issued a flash across every network in the country. You knew it by the sudden crimson blur in your peripheral vision when nearly every screen within three hundred miles was showing the same thing. Such things could cause the closest thing to a standstill in a city of twelve million people.

"Mario, could...   Read more


by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

"What's taking you so long, dad?"

I'm eight, and we are on a fishing trip, and I'm having a terrible time. My father is attempting to set up our antique tent and making a great mess of things. He is not the type to keep particularly organized. Perhaps it was he who passed that onto me.

"This goddamn rod is bent all to shit," he...   Read more

Naturalized Aliens

by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

Never before had he witnessed such decadence. In every direction he sees strangers from a planet he has not lived on. They do not share his world. Humongous flashing screens paint the slopes of this urban valley with a grotesque LCD glow, electrifying the smoggy night and blotting out constellations he was accustomed to...   Read more

Trail's Gone Cold

by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

The cord wrapped around the foundation of the building and led into the hedges separating the two parcels of land. Thick as a forearm and coal-black, it seemed oddly out of place way out here in the Yukon. He follows it through the hedging, sacrificing the soft underskin of his forearm to the barbs and branches which leave a...   Read more

Ignore the Lines

by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

Despite the obvious instructions, the young boy turned from the class prompt and began scribbling furiously on the sheet of lined, college-ruled paper. First an eye, then another. Two ears — no, wait, make it three — and a cruel mouth. Fangs and something like a tongue, long and sharp and forked. A ferrety neck protrudes awkwardly...   Read more

Allow Me To Pontificate

by El Wordy Baron almost 9 years ago

"The day after tomorrow, this will all be over." Such a fucking cliche.

Sure, our road trip would be ending soon enough, and we would be returning to our miserable, monotonous, minimum-wage jobs that regularly take us to the very brink of sanity... but to pretend that everything we just experienced would be concluded as...   Read more

Follows (4)

First Five

Fans (1)

Latest Five