When I was 12, I went to sea. My parents hated me. I don't know why, they just did. I was a good kid. I just think I was a little too energetic. It all started when I threw my mom's car keys down the well out back of my house. Why did I do that? Well, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I saw it on TV, that was what I told her anyway. Yes, blame TV. Evryone always does, when we all know it all starts with parenting and your upbringing...but I digress. Anyway, those keys were hard to replace. Very expensive. Looking back, I shouldn't have done that. Was it the sole reason my parents put my on a boat to China when I was 12, with some pirates who surely didn;t know the meaking of the words "three square meals a day". In fact, let me tell you about the "food" they fed me. First day, first meal, I go out on deck to the huge table they had set up for dinner. I see this massive, muscleed, long haired freak named Brandon walk out on deck rolling a huge drum of some sort of liquid. It was labeled, "McDonalds - Pink Slime". I said to myself, "Oh crappity crap. I head that stuff was ammonia and beef scraps from the buthers's foor - riddeled with E.coli and various other disseases, but I was absolutely starving. So, when Brandon