There was this mouse, see, and her name was Dot. Dot the mouse. Anyway, Dot had a son whose name was Dwight. Dwight was hungry all the time because the only thing he would eat was Egg Foo Yung from the Golden Chopsticks restaurant in downtown Buffalo. Problem was Dot, Dwight, and the owner of the house, Helen Quartermain, lived in Detroit.
So Dot was pigging out on cheese and rice that Helen Quartermain had left on the floor. Dwight wouldn't touch it. So Dot goes up to Helen and says: "Yo, HQ. My baby's starvin and you better pick up the phone and order some EFY from Buffalo soon."
"But Buffalo is so far away," said Helen Quartermain. "The delivery fee would be $5,000."
"My baby's life is worth that," said Dot. "I'm a talking mouse. I can raise the money."
So Dot called the local TV station and they came down and interviewed her. Next thing you knew she was on the Tonight Show, talking to Jay Leno about static cling. Problem was that she forgot about her son who by this time had died of starvation.
Dot gets livid. Runs home and finds Helen Quartermain asleep on the couch. (The TV is on and showing The Seven Year Itch on the late show.) Dot starts eating Helen's toes. Bites the baby off with one chomp. Helen wakes up and shrieks. Blood spurting everywhere. Soon Dot has eaten Helen's calves and forearms and Helen is sitting and crying and screaming in a pool of blood.
"That'll show you," says Dot.
There's a knock at the door. A deliveryman from Golden Chopsticks. "Got some Egg Foo Yung for you," he says.
"It's okay," says Dot. "I already ate."