I found the ring on the bowling green. Slipped in my back pocket for later as I was in the middle of the tournament. Forgotten after the many rounds of congratulatory drinks. Left on the bedroom chair at night. Fallen out in the morning and rolled under the bedcovering to be found by a very suspicious wife the following day.

She didn't believe my explanation - that I had no idea where it had come from. Her catalogue of resentments opened and recited in a monologue, devoid of tone or expression. I packed my suitcase and went to stay with my brother Tom, who was excited at the prospect of poker, drinks and someone to share his love of pornography on the tv. He didn't even ask what happened.

After a week I was fed up, no, if I'm really honest after a couple of days. I told Nancy a fanciful lie which she accepted and I was back to home cooked apple pie and a comfortable king sized bed.

I did wonder about the ring. Had I been unfaithful?

Nevermind, I just hope it was enjoyable.