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TonyNoland

joined about 3 years ago
reputation 16
stories 18 (view more)
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I don't always write fast, but I always try to write well. If you read something of mine and think, "Well, that was crap.", please read it again. Sometimes my jokes and layered meanings don't always come across instantly. If I make you work for the punchline, I hope you realize that I wouldn't even set up the hurdle for you if I didn't think you were able to clear it.

Read more of my work at:
http://www.TonyNoland.com
http://twitter.com/TonyNoland

Follows (7)

Fans (11)

Stories by TonyNoland

Rainbow World

by TonyNoland – about 1 year ago

The world was so close to perfect, he hated having to point out the flaws to the designer. It was his least favorite part of the job; they always took it personally. Months to design each reality, thousands of hours of effort by the design teams, but it...   [Read more...]

2 remarks  ||  2 favorites  ||  154 views

Pestilence, Rooted Out And Burned

by TonyNoland – over 1 year ago

"You heard me right, friends. The evil that is draining our country of vitality is NOT Wall Street, NOT Washington D.C., NOT the Chinese or video games or foreign oil! No sir!"

I looked out at them, every one of them shoc...   [Read more...]

0 remarks  ||  0 favorites  ||  201 views

Scan Complete

by TonyNoland – almost 2 years ago

*click*

"Sweetie, Daddy is trying to work, OK? One more picture and then you go play with your dolls, OK? You can do a fashion show and take pictures of them. Wouldn't that be fun?"

*click* *click* *click*

"OK, that's enough no...   [Read more...]

4 remarks  ||  0 favorites  ||  242 views

B-L-A-D-E

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

A bubble of blood oozed around the tip as he held the blade on his thumb. The knife was unbalanced and sharp. There's a metaphor in there somewhere, he thought.

Hi. My name's Steel. Chinese Steel. I'm unbalanced and sharp. And dangerous. And cheap. And I...   [Read more...]

2 remarks  ||  0 favorites  ||  224 views

Not Quite Done

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

The sword hilt slipped from his hand as he staggered back. Leather-palmed gauntlets slick with blood, his own and that of dozens of men, could yet have gripped, had his hands the strength for it.

In the steaming corpse at his feet, the blade angled ...   [Read more...]

1 remark  ||  0 favorites  ||  244 views

Don't think about it

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

You slide a cool hand across my chest, toying with the thick hair before following it downward.

"Treasure trail..." you whisper, your breath warm and moist against my ear, "... that's what we called it."

You move your han...   [Read more...]

1 remark  ||  0 favorites  ||  193 views

Long Vacation

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

Well, I said I wanted it to be a quiet vacation. You can't get much quieter than this. Even if this atmosphere were thick enough to conduct sound waves, I'm the only sentient being on Mars.

Yep, nice and quiet. Finally.

What have I got, eight more...   [Read more...]

0 remarks  ||  0 favorites  ||  240 views

Sleep, my darling, sleep

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

I'd paid for the whole night, thinking that I might as well go for the whole enchilada.

Half an hour would have been $80-plus, the "plus" being a sliding scale based on what I wanted to do in the half-hour. An hour would have been ...   [Read more...]

1 remark  ||  0 favorites  ||  389 views

New potatoes, first crop

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

In the harsh twilight, he knelt and dug.

In the bottom of the phoenix-grave, he spread the spores that would feed on and support the beginnings 0f all life.

In the sharp, glassy soil, he placed the seeds of a new planet.

In the unmeas...   [Read more...]

0 remarks  ||  1 favorite  ||  213 views

Butterfly Rapture

by TonyNoland – over 2 years ago

"What is it you have to do again?"

Richard pointed at the screen. "You have to get the butterflies to land on that tree."

"Which one, the one on the left?"

"No," he said, "the other one, the litt...   [Read more...]

4 remarks  ||  2 favorites  ||  617 views