Hats. Of every shape and size. I love them all. You may call me crazy, or you may not. I love them all, of every color and make. I make some, I find others. I keep them all by my side, and drink my tea as I study them. Who am I you ask? Some strange Hatter? Well to be more precise i'm a MAD Hatter. Yes that's correct. I am a bit mad, but who isn't? Hats just so happen to catch my fancy, and I love to make them. I also collect them. I can find you a hat of any kind, from anywhere to animals to regular hats. They're all hats, and they're all in my area of expertise. Yes I said it, my expertise. You could do that? You ask, and I reply yes my dear I can. For I am a hatter after all, and that's my job. And no my dear, I'm not crazy. That's just silly. The correct term is "mad" dear. But of course, here's that hat that you wanted! Oh it doesn't fit? No matter, there are plenty where that came from. Let us see shall we? You can have it in ruby red, aquamarine blue, canary yellow, oh you want it in black? Midnight black or charcoal black? Oh yes there's a difference. Of course you can! There you are my dear, it looks marvelous on you. Makes your head look MUCH smaller. Absolutely compliments your eyes! Or perhaps you would like this hat? No? Well but of course. I can always find another. No? You don't want one? But you should! Because why you ask? Because hats solve everything my dear! All of our problems. They could solve yours i'm sure, if you weren't a chair. Yes i'm talking to you, chair. No one else wants to be friends with a 'mad' hatter.