Without a doubt, the hat makes the man.
Douglas VanHornersmeltser knew this. He also knew that without removing his hat, the bald spot atop his head would never receive the proper tan he needed for his date at precisely 7 p.m. on the night of Saturday the 11th of January.
A prudent New Englander, Douglas had rarely ventured to concern himself with tanning, his chaste, leathery skin almost always coated in the finest sheer of exfoliated heaven. Yet on this very occasion he sought the affections of the lady up 12th Avenue, Lydia Snout.
An elegant woman with slender legs...
Dog house ha! Who can actually successfully lie to themselves so well that they believe I'm actually fine out here in the snow while they're right there in the house warm and dry and not... what's that word? Lonely.
Each time the girl comes out, I waggle and lick her face to let her know the business about "heaven" written on my dog house is not exactly accurate.
She won't be back for a long time. I'll wait, and hope she figures out soon that I can't protect her from out here. I wish the man would let me help...
In 1921, he flew to the Great Rift Valley. He came back from the world called Calpfinn. The place where not only ordinary people lived in. It was a multi-cultural world. Calpfinn had werewolves, wizards, witches, people with superheroes, but Bob, Bob was something different. He was everything. Bob could fly, he could use his magical spells, he had werewolf claws and even laser eyes if he needed to. So many people in Calpfinn were jealous. Especially Mr Crawlie Patch. Mr Crawlie Patch did not have any powers at all, but he was the best scientist in the world. He...
Spinning. Maybe not the most productive way to spend the day. But I couldn't think of anything better.
At least not when I was 6. So those lazy summer days were spent spinning whenever I could. Falling down in the leaves just made it happy bonus time.
Of course, that was well before the incident. I was spinning down what I thought was an empty street. Spinning because I knew that would make the daily trip to the store more fun. Because one of the perks of living that close to school and being friends with the principal was that...
The best oak hand sawn carved by a master carpenter. Plush deep red velvet that is soft to the touch yet heavy, and sumptious, the heaviest brass polished to a mirror finish. Everything I bought was the best money could buy, my house photographed and featured in all the glossy magazines.
Rachmaninoff and Bach were always my favourite composers so it was fitting they were chosen, expert pianists played to give me the best send off. As I lay in my coffin in a gown made in Paris, my relatives knew I would be happy.
Here I was. Looking out the broken glass window. It was old but still fresh. I would know it only happened yesterday. "What have we done?" says the boy in the background, Dave. "No what have you done." I say walking away not letting him say another word. It was all normal five minutes ago, Casey was laughing and smiling. I was finally happy. Dave and Casey I guess had too much fun because they started fighting. Until Casey couldn't take it anymore and I had to step in. I flooded him with hundreds of insults until he mentioned the...
What's this?
Dad showed me the picture of the orangutan splayed on the grass.
A monkey, I said.
It's you, he said.
Neither of us laughed.
Remember that time you asked me for a Coke and I stood at the soda machine filling it with Root Beer imagining Homer Simpson saying Mmmmm Root Beer?
Dad laughed.
I laughed.
It's silent most of the time now. I don't think to text and neither does he.
"Clung to" means everyone in the house knowing when I am there and when I am not. A friend is dropping off some cookies she made...
A reflection..
A clear copy of yourself, The one shard of glass showing us what other see of yourself..
Wether you want it or not, their everywhere...
I stood there.. Frozen.. Heartbroken..
I looked myself in the eyes as a crystal layer grew upon my eyes, He was behind me.. Hold my waiste telling me i wasnt good enough.
Telling me id never make it, telling me id never get there..
My father busted through the door as the hallucinations faded. Th smell of alcahole reeked through the air,He had been drinking again..
He threw me to the floor and...
The disco ball was turning. We danced below it, it's light swirling in a million little dots of light. soft music guided us around. His tuxedo creased slightly where my hand rested on his shoulder. My dress had cost a fortune, and it was a little hard to move, but it was so worth it. him beaming down at me lit up the room. my heart skipped a beat as he squeezed my hand slightly as we careened gracefully around other couples. i had wondered why they bothered with a disco ball when strobe lights were the last word in...
The new pope looked down on the moving heads, waving arms, heard the cacophany of sound, brass bands, singing in a multitude of tongues, watched the fluttering flags in the wind, saw the dark sky illuminated by millions of cell phone flashes as his followers took their shot of history. All around the world people watched tv, heard his first words, the blessing, the prayers, the gratitude.
I knew that it was a day most of them would never forget but gradually the magnificence of it would fade in the same way my memories faded of my father, the strong...