Bob went driving. His car was a 1986 Pontiac T-1000. It was grey. There were rust marks on the fender. There was nothing in the car. Nothing. Bob didn't like things in his car when he drove. They distracted him. This is why he drove naked. Clothes are things. He didn't even like taking the key into the car with him. A key is a thing too. When Bob left, he had no place to put the key, so he stuck it up his bum. The police always found the key when they arrested him for being naked in public places. (They always arrested him when he went to the playground.) A police officer would put on some rubber gloves and stick a finger in his bum (Bob's bum) and then find the key. "What's this?" the policeman would ask (because policewomen never searched his bum.) "It's my key," Bob would say. "But isn't that better than a key-lo of coke?"

The policemen never laughed.

So today Bob drove. He was naked. It was cold out. He had the heat on. His feet were cold against the pedals.

Here are some of the things Bob passed as he drove:

- Two guys playing chess
- Corn flakes (they fell out of someone's pocket when they were running for the bus)
- Big Ben (really strange since Bob was in Delaware)
- Bill Cosby (he'd just done a book signing at Starbucks)
- A little kid singing a Christmas carol (it was December, so this was acceptable)
- A sewer grate (actually he passed a lot of those)
- A naked man with lots of back hair who was jumping up and down under a tree

Bob recognized the naked man. It was actually a Yeti named Frank, who'd been transported to Delaware by space aliens. Frank was trying to get into the nursing program at the University, but they had an anti-Yeti policey. Discrimination!

Bob gouged out his eyes and bled everywhere. YAAHHHHHHH!!!

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Shteevie (joined almost 12 years ago)

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Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0

genres

stupidity psychosis

tags

keys in bums

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