The woolly mammoth lined up for the next event in the prehistoric Winter Olympics: the 400 meter speed skating competition.
This wasn't going to be easy, but he had been practicing. He picked up some momentum and started gliding around the ice, as the other mammoths and dinosaurs cheered for him.
Despite his bulk, the mammoth was in the lead. The other contestants, mostly moose and elk, had wiped out on the ice.
Coming down the home stretch, victory was in sight.
Suddenly, a group of ice snakes slithered onto the track, determined to stop the mammoth's victory party.
The...
Cupid said,
"Nobody knows or cares who I am."
"I'm just one of the pack."
Channeling Jan Brady, he added, "Everyone just cares about Rudolph, Rudolph, Rudolph!"
"Sure, he helped us out that ONE TIME, and now everyone can't stock singing about him."
"He wasn't even in 'The Night Before Christmas." It was On Dasher, On Dancer ... but Rudolph was still in the minors!'
Channeling Rodney Dangerfield, he added, "I get no respect at all. Even PRANCER had a movie made about him.
"I'm not even the most famous Cupid out there! It's that angel baby that shoots people...
Lorenzo and his army waited outside the city gates, preparing to overthrow King Prime.
"How are we going to get in?" his general asked. "His guards outnumber us three to one."
"I'm thinking," Lorenzo said. "Okay, I've got it. Drop your weapons. We're going to be delivery guys."
"We're all going to be delivery guys?"
"Yeah," Lorenzo replied. "Everyone go back home and grab something you won't miss and put it in a box. Then we pile all of the boxes outside the gate at midnight. In the morning, all of the guards come out to open the boxes and...