If there's one thing that Marie Antoinette had wished for, it would be that man never discover the sciences involving time travel. Her court was over-populated by not only all of the great people of the twenty-fifth century, but they had filled their quotas by stealing the best minds throughout the previous centuries. The time travel business seemed to be booming, but in its wake came a lot of discord. The leader of this ragtag rebellious group who sought nothing but to make a mockery of her policies was none other than - Katie Fucking Couric. "I'd like to shove...
He had crossed the crunchy yard to the Cathedral many times, and he proceeded as usual without thinking too much about the crossing. He didn't really hear the crunch of his boots on the blue metal surface. He didn't really see the wattle beginning to bloom. He didn't really smell the sweet air of spring. Bishop Smith was worried: someone was stealing the sacred host from the ciborium.
It puzzled him. Would anyone in the 21st century really steal the consecrated host for black magic? No one could possibly want the bread to satisfy hunger: the wafers were thin and...
Elsie, her name was Elsie. She was a big lass. Big arms. 'Big boned' my mum had called her, 'a rough sort', she'd said, 'stay away from her, she's trouble', she'd said. But I never listened to my mum.
I decided from the word go that I wanted to be in Elsie's gang. When I crept up to her side and said
'lo Else, can I be in your gang then?' she'd blown a big bubblegum bubble which popped right in front of my face and sneered
'you'll have to go through 'tha 'nititation beanpole'
Beanpole. I already had a...
"Wait, so he hit you?"
"Girl, yes! And do you know what else?"
Amber was now at the edge of her seat. "You better tell me, girl."
Quanta proceeded to pop her gum as she said, "Girl, yes. He hit me, and had the nerve to tell me that I deserved it! Can you believe that madness?"
Amber's neck should have popped from the force of her head falling back. "Oh, no he didn't!"
"I know!" Quanta rolled her eyes. "He said I deserved it, because dinner wasn't ready when he got home. What kind of mess is that?"
"Sound...
In memory of Sanvee Ali, age 5.
He will be remembered in our home and in our hearts.
"No, absolutely not, that's completely ridiculous."
"But why, John?" asked Amy, staring at the tigers in the enclosure. "They're just big cats. It can't hurt."
John snorted, his unique way of showing contempt, disgust and amusement all in one foul sound. "They're tigers, Ames. Tigers. You know, man eating wild animals? They'd sooner eat us than live with us. You're mental."
"But I want one. And you said you'd get me whatever I wanted. You promised. It's my birthday." Amy pouted and stamped her foot.
John rolled his eyes. "Within reason, sweetheart! I mean within reason. And don't stamp around...
Sometimes you look kinda creepy when you are happy
Really?
sorry
I mean it is an odd thing to say but well I guess it is what it is, I don't feel creepy
No, no I, I don't know why I said it
It's OK
Yeah, I'm just weird tonight. Everyone is gone and it just me and you..
and?
And? And nothing it is just that you know me and you we never really hung out you know? And I don't know why I keep talking
Look, lets play a game - I will look not creepy and you...
Hush the forest. Hush where the bear was, the deer have been downed. Hush my screaming heart.
In the kitchen where I am carried after my father's death, I ask for one shortbread cookie filled with jam as my mother Connie smiles around like the carousel she is of feelings. I want to sit in the dark corner and think about the bear mauling him. My father Claus, lying on the needles and still.
I ran into the woods and Meryl knocked me out. Unintentionally, I was fighting him as I would a bear. He cried onto my suede, he...
This dream was better than waking.
The fact that I *knew* I was dreaming kinda freaked me out. Inception was just a movie right? Right? Leo? Talk to me man.
Leo ignored me. So did the really tall blonde in a small bikini, slowly, slowly rubbing suntan lotion on her legs.
Yup. Definitely a dream. Even the ignoring was standard issue me dream.
I looked around me. I was on a beach, somewhere, Leo beside me sketching the girl with the lotion. Up the beach, toward the headland, three young men were playing hacky-sack. I looked a bit closer. Hacky-sack...
Martin put the off-white china mug to his thin lips and took a long drink of his rapidly cooling coffee. His eyes scanned over the classified ads for the hundredth time but, once again, there was nothing. Nothing in his field, nothing in his area, nothing, nothing, nothing. The pen poised in his right hand tapped against the page angerly and he took another mouthful, swishing the lukewarm liquid between his cheeks.
"Good morning, pumpkin." Candice's bare feet padded along the bare hardwood behind him, and Martin soon found his girlfriend's arms wrapped tightly around his chest, her face buried...