MitchRudeen (joined over 13 years ago)

Raconteur and Roust About


then the cold
A wet cold that moves through you that clings to your insides
A cold that whispers soft and true
_You will never be warm

Smile and huddle and see that here too in this fog, this unrelenting mist that covers everything
Here too is warmth, here too is a God

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The time it will take is an enormous thought. Just to really accurately describe the amount of time it would take would in and of itself take a mind boggingly large amount of time. Big project. Big, big project. But if you start at one end and finish at what I assure you is the other end even though you can't see it now and likely won't for several months. If you bring enough soup and a change of underwear and mittens for the winter months then I can guarantee you and I mean rock solid guarantee you that at...

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Cute and smiling

If only she could have held it, forever Then she would have been...useful? what she was meant to be? fulfilled? fulfilling?
Personalities are a funny thing. Sometimes you don't like what you are meant to like sometimes you don't act the way you want to act you say no to all the right things and "oh God yes!" to so so many wrong things and you become less cute and drifty and lost.

Even on Christmas

Even with snow

Not what they expected, if they expected anything,

Other than cute.

Cute and smiling

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Marchiel? is that a boy's name

Dunno, it is French I think

French, right so we are looking for a possibly French possibly male or possibly female person?

Sums it up



Tell me again what were Francis's exact words?

Find me Marchiel, find me the black rose

Nothing else?

He was yelling, you know how he gets

Yeah, shit look do you think we oughta just blow. Because it aint looking like we are gonna be making Francis too happy anytime soon.

Let's ask some questions first

I suppose



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Sometimes you look kinda creepy when you are happy



I mean it is an odd thing to say but well I guess it is what it is, I don't feel creepy

No, no I, I don't know why I said it

It's OK

Yeah, I'm just weird tonight. Everyone is gone and it just me and you..


And? And nothing it is just that you know me and you we never really hung out you know? And I don't know why I keep talking

Look, lets play a game - I will look not creepy and you...

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This fallen world or the next on. It is hard to be entirely sure of anything; gravity, what to have for breakfast, whom one should marry - fuck

We stick our heads out too far and we expose ourselves in ways we could not have guessed at the beginning when we were warm floating. We forget how to float when we learn how to swim and sometime soon we will learn how to drown - or let go.

This fallen world or the next one. The choice is just as banal as it sounds. But some nights it is...

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I am not the hero of this story
I have abdicated my own starring role
I will live with that
or otherwise

I have chosen a poor teacher
or I have not made a choice
and that is the worst kind of choosing

She is not the villain of the story
I release her
become what you must, teacher, villain, muse

This is not a test
but I will take it
and pass it
with abandon and lust and glee
But it will not make me a hero

It will make me me

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Not really that pretty
But lovely

She sat on the beach watching the last sunset
We were tense and sad but the sun did not care

When I remember will I think of the beautiful sun?
The beautiful you?
Not really that pretty
Striking, alive worthy of the perfect sunset

And so much more

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He could not even translate it. It was what one might call a specific knowledge, the fact that he did not understand this particular currency conversion did not mean he was not smart it just meant that he well did not understand it.

Still he felt anxious.

He walked around the building, reading the strip of paper again and again. It was a a large number it could be something, life changing, probably not. Probably just another day. Someone had something wrong, something lost in translation.

He straightened his collar and opened the door.

Ready to deal.

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Never leave the house looking less than your best. It is this way that we show respect for others (paraphrased from Tom Ford)

We are respectful of your anger, we are wary of your rage - we are aware of our own imperfections. The sight of us naked , raw, unshorn will sicken you send into a blind fury of cataclysm.

So we buy hats

And thank you for the many choices.

My sweet Lord

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