MitchRudeen (joined over 13 years ago)

Raconteur and Roust About


They laughed at the little thing as it squirmed
The dark water so close but so far away now in their minds
The way things change the eye flits away reconstructs
Safety is everywhere in this dangerous time, safety is in the struggling eyes of a small thing

They left it to it's toil the diurnal nocturnal pull of it's nature
Clinging to the raft looking at the shore
The sun warm and pure on it's matted fur

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I was my own villain my own devastating ending

The back of the car has not been cleaned very well, candy wrappers, a dogs toy. None of it speaks to me today none of it means anything. I lie here and imagine stars, the smell of campfires, oceans, sex.

I was my own Hero

The parking brake sticks sometimes the left turn signal works but you can't tell from inside. Let it drift down the big hills, brake pads aren't free.

Run your finger on the fake wood grain, pray for rain, pray for peace. The trick is to let...

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Feeling like a fool, alone but still wondering how she looked, how she looked to other people. She should just allow it to die to apps on into whatever, darkness, light, next. she unfolded upward and took a picture, morbid and wrong the dust on her knees felt like it was teeming with death and life the circle of things. How to escape a forest it would be the title of her first and last book. Few would read she would place the first copy here next to a half remembered site where a corpse of something beautiful l once...

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I am in Palm Springs the sun the haze the people I am in focus everything behind me is a blur an attractive sexy blur. I am in focus, focus with a lower case f. I want to tell you something I want to tell you what it feels like all hot and steamy the way chilled alcohol burns and tingles demands more my throat loose my toes free the smell of grass the smell of pools. I want to tell you something something about time about memory about thinking that things would never end never get bad I want...

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Thou wanted to enjoy his iced latte
Thou wanted to bring the mood down in this joint
Thou wanted these tourists to be gone
Be gone tourists!
Thou forsakes thee!
Wanna bees

Thou is the grumbly heart of your demise
Thou is real
Really real
So frightening

So fucking real

Thou is not on tourist maps

Thou will burn away all this fake tourist bullshit
Thou will bring the mood down

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Wooshy and futuristic
Just out of the corner of my eye, that thing I had been running towards, to, seeking

It moved
With a woosh and a blur
And me left here behind
Without outward direction
Spinning to find the horizon, when did the sun go down? How had it become so late?
I felt old and breathy and hot
I felt like I no longer knew things
I had never known things
Things had never been allowed to know me
Running so long
I lay down in the green moist grass
I watched the ants
Where were they...

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Creeping up again. That is what I thought as as I woke up in my nice but dull apartment. The life I had made for myself, without you, or her, or anyone really at least not anyone warm and willing...wet. Here i was sure, so sure this time that I had vanquished these feelings these ridiculous needs to share my life, my bed to feel your long fingers reaching in to hold me. Gah, too much whiskey not enough coffee or maybe the other way around. I needed to get up to take care of this go downtown and buy...

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I am in love with a coffee machine. A robot that makes coffee. I am giddy about it my mornings are filled with percolating robot joy. I have placed the coffee robot on the side of the bed that I don't prefer to sleep on.

The girlfriend side of the bed.

The coffee bot is not my girlfriend she is not even a girl. I can not fuck her - she is too damn hot for that. But I don't mind if she watches my touch myself. That seems okay or well not okay okay I mean you know okay...

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In 1921, he flew from the Great Rift Valley to the California shore

In 1934, he was spotted near a bank robbery that had gone bad

In 1937, he was in Acapulco, Mexico working the bar at the El Luna Hotel

In 1942, he was in love but it wasn't mutual

In 1953, he discovered the secret of anti gravity

In 1963, he made his first suicide attempt (pills)

In 1967, he bought a grocery store in El Segundo

In 1971, he became tired and bored

In 1974, he wrote that song - the one she loved

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I saw it then, I see it now but somehow the access or more the feeling of ownership yes the feeling of ownership over the feeling has changed morphed become murky like I am seeing a man who was me thinking the thought but not remembering the thought myself

Orton stretched his arms and yawn smiled for a slight moment and then he pounced

Like the idea was implanted?

He stretched out this last word let it dangle in the dry air of the back office

Jim blinked, stared, coughed

Yes, yes just like just like that an implanted idea...

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